How To Find… You.

D.A. Rutherford
16 min readMar 18, 2021
All Photos via Pixabay

There are myriads of different advice columns, books, and shows; a full variety of methods designed to distract you. We continually look for more meaning in our daily life. Download more apps to track ourselves in some form or another. From the number of hours we sleep at night, to an app that tracks the number of times we sneeze, and everything in between. Now, there is inherent value in knowing these systems of biometric data. But, when was the last time you made a real decision… without checking your phone first? When was the last time you left your phone at home all day? What was the last phone number you memorized? Remember that? The days of memorizing every important 10 digit number you needed?

I enjoy the convince of modern-day technology and I’m deeply grateful for all the luxuries, innovation, and safety it provides us. But, somewhere along the way it seems possible that “we” have become a bit, well… Drowned out. What makes you, you? A question we should be very comfortable with, yet few of us ask ourselves this daily. How can it be that so many of us know so much about ourselves, yet have no idea who we are?

The answer is different for different people. However, one factor has become overwhelmingly consistent. You’ve gotten distracted. From what exactly? Only you know. The good news is, we can fix that.

Now, I’ve always been a person who needed certain directions spelled out for me. Perhaps, it’s because spelling is not my strong suit. Or maybe, the requirement for more in-depth clarification stems from a desire to do, rather than to think about doing. Given this need, I will do my utmost to be as detail-oriented as possible in the following actions I take to undermine and obliterate the unhealthy distractions in life. Ultimately, you want to do so much more than “reconnect” with yourself. You want to know you through and through. Love and improve the good, then search out and improve the not-so-good.

Step 1. Talk out-loud to yourself.

I know, I know. It sounds crazy. Walking along the road towards work or campus, having an in-depth convo with you, about you. This is close to what I mean, but not exactly. Unless you are super confident or are wearing a pair of headphones (to appear as though you are speaking to someone else), that option might seem a bit…